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FEAR…Don’t Let It Stop You From Having the Life You Deserve

By Robert Bencivenga


FEAR is the single biggest threat to your ambition for a better life!
Dave Hollis…”Built Through Courage”

I couldn’t say this any better! And regarding your personal development, I feel there’s nothing more important to understand. Fear is a killer of dreams and a life in which your personal potential is fully realized!

I’m hoping this touches a place in you that inspires you to take the time to read this…I have files and files…reams and reams of information about this topic because I feel it’s that impactful to experiencing the Life You Really Want.

How does Fear get to takeover your life and how do you dismantle it to use it to your benefit?

We fear the unknown, fear what people will say about us and our work, fear we’ll fail, and fear we’re unworthy and not capable enough.
Understand this…you’re not alone! You’re human just like everyone else. You’re not weak because you have fears.

But you’ll need to live a courageous life. You’ll need to get used to moving forward and acting in the face of fear. In spite of it, not because it has magically gone away. Each time you go beyond your comfort zone, you’ll face fear!

Dismantle Fear! Here’s How…

1) Invite your fear in…Do Not push it away…Do Not ignore it!
Thank it for coming. Find out why it came and what it’s here to teach you.

2) Make a list of what you’re actually afraid of each time you feel those fear based butterflies in the pit of your stomach. Bring those paralyzing fears out of your dark unconscious and shine the light of awareness on them. When we become aware of something in the present moment, we distinguish it so we can see it clearly for what it is! It can’t hide in the corner of your mind any longer making up scary stories.

3) Evaluate which fears are real and which are False Evidence Appearing Real (F.E.A.R.). I guarantee, once you review the list, you’ll see 85 percent of what you fear will either be eliminated as ridiculous and nothing really to fear, or they’ll fall into the category of things that never happen anyway, which is like 90 percent of the time!

Most of what we worry about never comes to pass. Worrying about what might happen is a waste of our time and energy because we have no control over what happens next. All that does is rob us of enjoying the present moment.

Marcus Aurelius the famous Roman Emperor and philosopher said, “You have power over your mind, not outside events.”

4) Of the fears you determine as something you’re really scared of, ask the question, “How do I best prepare for doing this scared”? Seek out support from friends and family. Determine the resources you’ll need. What thoughts can you release that have you feeling scared? What new habits will you need to develop to be successful?

5) One of everyone’s biggest fears is the fear of failure because they’re really afraid of what people will think of them and the criticisms they’ll have of them.

And to that I say, “Who Cares”!

Unfortunately, people are so focused on themselves, they don’t have the time or energy to care very much about what you’re up to. I’ve always said, “It’s only 5% of the people in my life that really care genuinely about me and those people aren’t in the business of finding fault or criticizing me”. And the other 95% are casual acquaintances!                      

So don’t worry…no one is watching you that closely anyway.

6) Cognitive “reframing” is a psychological technique that consists of identifying and then changing the way situations, events, and emotions are viewed. Cognitive reframing is the process by which such situations or thoughts are challenged and then changed.

Look at the “limiting beliefs” you’re holding onto that make you feel you can’t handle a situation. Restate those beliefs in a way that will empower you to move forward anyway. (For example if you were afraid of losing your job, you could reframe that fear by believing you’re totally qualified to find a better job that even pays more than your current job. Or if you were afraid of giving a speech, you could reframe it by realizing you’ve done this many times before and received deafening applause each time.)

And Remember: never say, “I Am Afraid”. You feel afraid but your feelings come and go and yet you remain. You are not your fear! 

Don’t let fear stop you from having the life you deserve.

Pursue a life that reflects your full potential by Being Courageous!

Robert Bencivenga

About the author

I’ll be your guide on this journey.

I want to make sure you don’t wake up one day feeling your life has passed you by, and you haven’t lived your best life to its fullest!

I’ve studied ancient eastern spiritual philosophies, transformational psychology, and brain science for over 40 years. 

I developed simple practices that you can use anytime and anywhere, to help you create the life you deserve.

I share practical tools and insights, so you can live a life of your own choosing, regardless of your circumstances....

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