When you grew up and even as an adult, how many times have you been told āyour shirt is inside outā?
Well, Iām here to tell you that thatās exactly how you want to live your life⦠from the Inside Out!
And Iām going to show you how.
As the Buddha said: āYou yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.ā
The Problem with Outside In
Living from the outside in, youāre prone to feeling like youāre not enough and youāre not worthy to deserve anything. You lack a sense of security and control because youāre not the master of your own destiny. Life is happening to you rather than with you and for you!
You lack a sense of purpose, not knowing what step to take next, not believing in yourself, but rather seeking validation, approval and guidance from others and your outside world. Youāre at the mercy of your situations and circumstances. Like a cork floating on the ocean waves, getting constantly bounced around!
So you look to others to save or define you, to tell you what to do, say and act, but you also resent it and feel like theyāre your rival and competition. You end up relating to the world and others through an orientation of fear, doubt, jealousy, and confusion. You lose touch with your own innate wisdom and emotions to guide you.
If you take a minute to think about it, living from the outside in entails getting all your joy and happiness from outside yourself. As Iāve mentioned before in other posts, itās like being a feather in the wind... being blown about according to the whims of the wind.
Living Inside Out
Of course, being in the world, youāre going to get knocked about by outside circumstances... misplacing your phone, losing your wallet or car keys, running late to pick up the kids, realizing you have less than enough money to pay the bills, and so on.
At some point in life, youāll experience these kinds of things ā theyāre part of the human experience. Iām not saying these things wonāt affect you, but Iām here to tell you that you have the power to allow them to affect you less... A whole lot less!
By harnessing an inside out mindset in the face of challenging situations, doors open for you to find peace, joy, ease, grace, power, freedom, and full self-expression, because now youāre the creator of your Universe. Youāre no longer living at the mercy of other people and situations.
Now that you recognize the power and benefits of living an inside-out life... How do you do it?!
Recognizing a Dependency on Outside Forces
How triggered are you by situations and people all day long, and the conversations in your head about them? Youāve had days ruined by relatively insubstantial factors. Perhaps someone cut you off in traffic, or made a comment that touched off a very sensitive feeling for you. And you carry this upset within your body, and the endless negative conversation with yourself about it in your head, for days on end!
Weāre all familiar with being triggered!
You allow outside circumstances to take over your psyche and body. You become the anger, the embarrassment, and the hurt feelings rather than holding your ground of equanimity and
letting go of the incident, like water off a duckās back...
But letting go of the incident doesnāt mean making believe it doesnāt bother you.
Do Not suppress your feelings! Iām advocating welcoming them all in. Sit with them. Get to know them. Understand why they arise and where they come from and youāll see how quickly they lose their charge and power over you, in the situation youāre in and in future situations. It then becomes easier and easier to let them go!
Flip the Switch
The good news is that you can āflip the switchā to live from the inside-out by making conscious changeā¦
Stop being a servant to your mind. Start to realize nothing will be missed by not attending to the endless chatter that goes on incessantly all day long in your head! Give up your attachment to it. See it for what it is...mindless chatter, so you can slow down, be present for your life, and make conscious choices of what youād like to experience!
Start holding your thoughts and feelings more loosely. Understand the thoughts and feelings you have are totally your choice. You are not your thoughts...You are the thinker of your thoughts! You can choose the ones you want to have.
The only meanings things have are the meanings you give them. Nothing comes to you with a meaning already assigned to it. Everything just is! There really isnāt any need to keep assigning meanings to everything. I know thatās a tough one to accept because weāre just natural meaning- making machines, so itās hard to give it up! But when you do, it will change your life!
To make positive changes in your daily life and help you live from the inside out, you need to make a deliberate effort, and practice staying conscious in the present moment. Donāt get swept away by unconscious knee jerk reactions.
Slow down a bit to see things more clearly and get some leverage on your own thinking, feelings, and actions. Take time to pause before responding, instead of reacting! Youāll feel more relaxed, calm, and engaged in taking the next step.
I remember one of my spiritual teachers saying to me,āItās Just a Feeling...It Canāt Kill You!ā
Things like meditation, conscious breathing, gratitude, mindfulness, time with nature, and
exercise are incredibly effective in helping you stay present. (Please add links to our other posts on meditation and gratitude. The meditation one is āYou donāt have to be a Buddhist Monkā¦ā The gratitude one is one of the newest ones āAccepting What Isā¦ā)
Another golden nugget...being non-judgmental will go a long way to help you live an inside out life! When you stop constantly judging the outside world, other people, your life, and yourself, youāve taken the first step. Letting people and things be just the way they are, and still welcoming them in, will drastically change your happiness, peace of mind, and ease from which you experience the world!
A beautiful quote from the Zen Shin says: āA flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it, it just blooms.ā
By not judging yourself, you encourage compassion, kindness, and respect towards yourself, and then are much more apt to extend that love toward others.
When you begin to lessen judgment, both outwards and inwards, you have more space for the present moment, for being present in your place in life.
A Conscious Life
When you begin living from the inside out, youāll notice that outside events or circumstances donāt carry so much weight. Youāre not at the behest of their whims.
You are now the Conscious Creator of the life you really want!
Meditation helps settle you into your own skin, thereby assisting you in finding a place within that is grounded and aware. By practicing meditation for about 10 minutes a day, within a couple months time, youāll see a noticeable difference.
By connecting to your awakened awareness and expanded consciousness, you can now access choice and create a life of your own choosing.
Practicing Gratitude will keep you in the present moment. Giving thanks and love to those simple things around you will bring about experiences of joy.
Hanging out with nature and becoming more in tune with your senses anchors you to something bigger than yourself.
That wonderful feeling of living from a sense of your own chosen purpose is what I mean when I say living from the inside out. Itās owning your own conviction and clarity, your own confidence and self worth. These feelings become you and you radiate them outward, which attracts the life you desire.
If youād like to read more about how to practice choosing and how to choose wisely, have a look at this post: Are You Looking in All the Wrong Places for the Life You Really Want?
To learn more, download my Free Ebook ā3 Steps to Feel Great Right Now Regardless of Your Circumstances.ā Get started mastering your mind and transforming your thinking.